יום ראשון, 30 באוקטובר 2011

"It's Hard not to be Romantic About Baseball"

"It was really depressing, "he answered me, "they really didn't deserve it. There was no reason for the Cardinals to be champions this year."

There are few people in my Jewish teachers college who I can speak baseball with. For that matter, other than the ex-pat Americans, there is nobody in this country who talks baseball. Israelis can't wrap their heads around the game. Baseball, with its pitch-dependent action, is too slow for the revved up soccer-heads in this country. They prefer the fast paced shell games, where you have to keep your eye on the ball as the clock runs, or is run down; complicated plays thought out to give the team that millisecond of distraction needed to place the ball in its respected net, goal, basket, what have you. American sports, be it baseball with its endless innings or football with its long breaks in between plays, just doesn't make sense to them. And if they had to choose between them, well at least in football they beat each other up while running the clock.

"Baseball's like a social get together. You sit, drink beer, eat junk, schmooze with friends, and once in a while clap your hands for your team," a good friend of mine once commented after his first baseball game.

Of course that was his response. The first time he saw a double play was when we diagrammed it on a pizza pie earlier that day. Israel is a beautiful country, but when you have to give three years of your life to the army and have your bag X-rayed when you enter the mall, you lack the patience to appreciate the thumping but slow-paced thrill that baseball offers.

But how could I not celebrate the Cardinal's incredible victory? How could I not seek out a fellow fan of the sandlot to discuss Freese and Albert? More than them being my second favorite team (I'll clarify: nothing makes me happier than an Indians' win, after which the next best thing is a Yankees' loss, followed by a victory by STL- my grandmother's team- if all else fails I root for the Jays- my grandfather's team) their ride, or more correctly, flight this season and post-season is at the heart of what makes baseball special. Which is why I disagree with one of the few people at the Herzog College in Israel who understood what those three red letters on my blue hat stood for.

Fan-hood is a strange phenomenon. Every jersey that we don makes us a member of the team, secures us a spot on their roster. It gives us the opportunity to be part of something bigger than we are; a member of the "Fenway Faithful", or of any other "Nation." Loyalties are passed on from father to son, or sometimes (as is by me), son to father, or just through the drinking water.

If you ask me, baseball fans can be divided into two categories: competitors and romantics. Competitors want the W, and nothing more. For them the end-result are the only thing that is important. Number one in the win column or bust. Like someone who guzzles through a bottle of fine wine because of the price tag and the status. They'll grow quickly into front-runners, fast to discard their hometown or familial loyalties for a team that will provide them with more bang for their proverbial buck.

Romantics are the exact opposite. To them the price tag is nowhere near as important as the label on the back of the bottle- the one that explains the process and flavors that were cultivated. As my mentor in wines and spirits once said, "Some people know brands, other people know wine." Somebody who understands wine will pay the price for a good bottle, but they also have the ability to find equal, if not better, wines at better prices. The process is almost all of the fun for the baseball romantic. The means and not the ends.

Which is why I root for Cleveland despite the fact that it is almost always guarantees me heartbreak, and why I believe that the Cardinals deserved the Commissioner's Trophy more than any team that has played since the Cardinals last took it in 2006- and even more than that incarnation! A team must be developed financially. I won't argue this, and hold this against the Dolans and the way they manage the Tribe. However, the Indians' front office, since the 90's, has been responsible for cultivating players, coaching them from the start of their young careers until they mature into the robust players who deserve big numbers on their price tag. Manny Ramirez, CC, and of course, Jim Thome, among others rose to star quality while playing for the Indians. The 1995-1997 lineup was definitely bolstered by some good business moves on the part of Jon Hart, but the heart of the lineup was young talent that was being raised in CLE. Since those days of glory Cleveland has served as a farm team for the entire MLB. Despite the heartbreak of losing the stars because they become expensive, those few seasons watching them break out are incredible. The scrappy taste of hard earned victory is ambrosia for the gods of baseball. Even if it's for only one game.

Of course, a competitive fan doesn't care. At the end of the season, if their team hasn't won, they throw them to the dogs. Star players who are payed millions in order to keep them from leaving, are booed when they screw up (A-Rod, I'm looking at you and smiling real wide). This is a business and their team is supposed to win. Period.

Don't get me wrong, I was disappointed by the poor performance of the Tribe in the second half of this season. But I made a promise that no matter what happens, win or lose, I was going to revel in that first half tromping that the "48 million dollar payroll that could" delivered to the Majors. Because to a romantic, a Cinderella story remains a Cinderella story even after the fat lady sings.

Which brings me to the MLB champion Cardinals. Hard earned, sweaty, seat of your pants wins. Late inning heroics. This is what they game is about. This is what makes it the American past-time. Is there anything that serves as a metaphor for life more than being down to your last strike (twice!) and pulling through? Is there anything more romantic than a come from behind victory? Only when the man responsible for his team's victory cheered for that same team as a kid.

Baseball is all about second chances. There is no clock on this game- it ends when you decide that you can't connect wood to rawhide anymore, when you stop believing that with bases loaded you'll turn the double play to get out of the inning, when David loses to Goliath. As long as you can make the play, you control the fate of the game. The beauty of baseball is in those long innings that so bore the natives of my beloved homeland. You don't need fast action to get your heart pumping. You just need to understand that nothing is guaranteed until the final out is made.

By all logic the Cards should not have even made the postseason. But baseball's not about logic. A team that never says “die”, that claws away until they've used their last breath to take that of another team, which turns from harmless to fierce once September begins to close, deserves the W. What they went through, the story on the back of their bottle, is worth more than the win. This game is not about putting up numbers. Numbers belong on clocks. This game is about gravity defying acrobatics, grass-stains and slides, stolen bases and stolen thunder.

This is what the romantic fans understand that the competitive ones do not. Baseball is not a business- it's life.

יום רביעי, 26 באוקטובר 2011

1:15 Rant

Sometimes you realize that things don't work out the way they should have. Sometimes the right changes come five minutes too late. You stand outside in the hallway trying to stare through the door, but the X-rays are not working. Hell, who are you fooling, they were never there. You got stuck with the invisible power, and couldn't get a trade in for it. What can you do?

Three seconds pass since the music stops, and only then do you begin to dance. Part of you enjoys the sweat dripping from forehead into eyes, splashing the dance floor and shining bright and wet, with nothing external forcing your moves; part of you mourns the fact that you just can't find the groove when the groove was on for everyone. What can you do?

Belief systems fall apart, and somehow you are the only one grasping the straws of what was once so popular. That was then. When you were a child. Now? Come on man, grow up. Times change. Change with them. What can you do?

Blink your eyes three times. Hold them shut on the last blink for 30 second. One deep breath with your picture on your eyelids. Do you get it now?

יום שלישי, 25 באוקטובר 2011

It's Not Always Black and White

One of the greatest decisions that my parents madei n raising me was to send me to the Hebrew Academy of Cleveland for the first four years (kindergarten through third grade) of my schooling. HAC is a Jewish day school that studies both secular and Judaic studies, but leans towards Ultra-Orthodoxy, or in American Jewish slang, is "black hat." Beginning my education in a more right-wing religious school set a tone for my Judaism. HAC established a strong foundation of belief and put, for better or for worse, practices into place that have lasted until this day, (they're probably also the source for my penchant for food that speaks Yiddish).

Though many might have considered the education a bit close-minded (I'll never forget how my second grade English teacher had to staple together the pages in Dear Mr. Henshaw that dealt with Christmas) I consider it to be the factor in my life that allows me to explore the many aspects and views of this religion freely and without fear. I know that most likely I will come home safely to the house that was built back in kindergarten, but also realize that every once in a while old wallpaper needs to be looked at and changed, furniture replaced.

But I digress. The most important thing that my parents gave me by sending me to the Academy and by living in Cleveland Heights ("Where you're either black or black hat") was the ability to feel comfortable around people different from you.

Or so I thought. I had a bit of a revelation this morning. I arrived at minyan and begin to put on my tefillin (phylacteries) standing above a seat. Before I could finish wrapping and sit down though, somebody had taken my seat.

"Come on man, what's your friggin problem?" I growled in my mind, carefully deleting the expletives out of respect for my tefillin (see what I mean about putting practices in place? I still imagine inanimate objects blushing or getting insulted). "It's pretty clear that I was gonna sit there, jerk."

I often get this way when I'm tired, but after I moved away to a new seat I noticed that in my mind I was preempting anything that someone might say to me. Especially after seeing the young ultra-orthodox guy who once gave me a tongue lashing for the way I wore my gun while praying (that's a different story). My thoughts began to turn, or more correctly, curdle, on the people sitting near me.

They were classic hareidim, ultra-religious to the last stitch in their long frocks. Curly side-locks, hats, scraggly beards in the best case scenario, fuzzy upper lips in the worst. My defense mechanism was running like Usain Bolt.

"Dontchu be taking my seat, ya penguin," it whispered at the man praying next to me. "Why are they taking so frickin long to start... come on already man."

Two 18 year old boys sat across from me shooting glances and smiles at each other. "What do they think they're looking at? Are they laughing at me? For real? At least my moustache doesn't look like a comb-over!" (I know, I know, it's blonde, and my instincts don't actually phrase things this cleverly in person either)

The kicker came at the end. At some point I switched the raggedy siddur (prayer book) that I had picked up with a smaller one that seemed not to belong to anyone in the room, despite having a beautiful inscription on the inside cover. I figured if it was someone's they would tell me. Of course, my brain also defensively snarled, "What, and he'll take it away from me in the middle?" When I had finished davening, I kissed the siddur and put it down. Comb-over-stache picked it up, kissed it and placed it next to him.

"Great, here we go," I thought, "a speech on how I should ask first, probably with some words like 'gezel' (stealing) and a whole lot of blah-blah to nod through while looking at the floor."

And rightfully so to tell the truth. If somebody had taken my siddur without asking, I would have chewed him out in my head for a good 15 minutes at least.

"Sorry," I said sheepishly, and truth be told, I was genuinely sorry.

His lips turn upwards in a big smile, and he enthusiastically motions to me and the siddur and gives me a big thumbs up.

"It was my honor, my merit, for you to use my siddur."

I blush. "Thanks,"I say to him as I leave, "shkoyach"(good job).

Shkoyach indeed, brother. Lesson learned.

יום שני, 24 באוקטובר 2011

New Year's Resolution: More Bloggin

Morning hits hard when you're unemployed, but not hard enough to knock me out of bed. Herzog, the teacher's college I attend, kicked off the semester yesterday, and with it I returned to my old ways of recuperating from the ten hour school day with hours of computer-sponsored brain-rot. Which meant that starting the big job hunt early was going to have to wait until after the later minyan (prayer service).

-Fix the guitar
-Supplies for school
-Pick up Horatio, my Sig-Sauer, from the range
-Blah
-Blah
-More important blah

Something about the "to do" list weighing down my backpack threw me off. Breakfast and in-house chores dragged on, while the seconds and minutes left the house, only to return as hours passed. The guitar had been sitting to long with a broken neck and strings and now needs a fret-board fix as well. Signs in restaurants declaring openings made me simultaneously hopeful and depressed.

But there was a success. After about 15 minutes of being snowballed and convinced that I was being given a deal (Ï'm sorry for the wait, but I was arguing with my supervisor about getting you a discount, which I was able to...."- Wow, just for me?!) and a little bit of schedule dancing, I began my first steps to the bar (The one you stand behind, not the test).

Bar-tending class cut my day short, but at least was an easy check for the list.

"Hey, you must be Yoni!,"Dor, the well-dressed instructor greeted me with a smile, Ï've been waiting for you to come."

What a change. Yesterday I was taking notes on a laptop in a yeshiva classroom, today-a notebook on the bar itself. A quick glance around the room:

Dos (religious guys) count: 2 others besides me ("What is a religious guy like you doing in a course like this?"- true quote from one of the girls)

Girl count: 3
Dosot (religious girls): Nope, too bad

"Let's talk about brandy and Cognac."

Yes, please do.

"Now let's taste them."

For the record, I held off because of the kashrut (dietary laws) issues with grapes. But school where you drink as part of the lesson- does it get any better than that?

After two hours on the production, difference between, and grading of the two, notebooks became shakers, we hopped over to the other side of the bar. There's an episode of "How I Met Your Mother" where Robin forces her way behind the bar for attention, and is dragged away while screaming "But I was somebody back there."It's like that. The timid persona that I adopt in a new environment quickly fell away once my shoe tread in that holy space.

"What'll it be?" I asked, smiling to the peers who would coach my mixology for two drinks.
Ice in the shaker!
Fill the jigger!
Other side!
Close with a bang!
And shake it here, shake it there, dance to the music bar-man!

The bar, it would seem, is a stage, or at least a dance floor. Alright, so I used an orange wedge to salt the margaritas, but man are the lights back there bright. Shine on please! I'll need it tomorrow when I try to kick things into gear.