Winter's chill has moved quickly from my bone's to my mind, numbing my brain and slowing down my reflexes. Day move to night much faster and the accompanying darkness weighs down on me. My animal instincts are attacking every fiber of my body- "SLEEP!"they scream. "Curl into a ball, fetal position, and just close your eyes..."
Yesterday it was summer, or at least fall. Now I am struggling with schoolwork, bar-tending classes, job hunting, and the regular grind of day-to-day errands.
Brown, gray, black. I look around, nostalgic for the yellow, orange, and blue. Morning, afternoon, and evening, when I wake up and before I go to sleep, I scour the Indian's website for my recently-departed summer, frantically clinging to the digital diamond, the green grass and pale brown dirt. When the Tribe offers no news I move onto the MLB site. Highlight reels, historics games, whatever I can get. Baseball diamonds have become an opiate for me. Seeing one calms me, withdrawal depresses me. The boys of summer have gone.
When Jerusalem is lit up she sparkles, shining like the beacon that she is to the world. Winter's early gloom in the holy city cuts even harder. "A few weeks," I tell myself, "in a few weeks you will have gotten used to the idea of long nights and short days. Quilts will once again become a comfort and not a necessity. Your bed will release you from its grip. A few weeks."
For now, my nesting instincts are go. Cooking has become a new joy in my life, a new distraction from the work and responsibilities that I have or am supposed to acquire. Corn bread, onion jam, even a quiche. It can take me hours, but I pull it off in the end, and smile with the realization that I can still learn new tricks.
Maybe I'll learn to let winter's opening days not stew my brain.
This too will pass.
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